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	<title>Cinnamon Spirit &#187; Jeeva Nadarajah</title>
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		<title>7 Years later &#8230; the tension between ambition and gratitude</title>
		<link>http://cinnamonspirit.com/2026/07/7-years-later-the-tension-between-ambition-and-gratitude/</link>
		<comments>http://cinnamonspirit.com/2026/07/7-years-later-the-tension-between-ambition-and-gratitude/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 29 Jul 2026 21:33:02 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Jeeva Ganeshan]]></dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Brown People Stories]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Cinnamon Spirit]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Jeeva Nadarajah]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[brown fashion]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[dark-skin-clothing]]></category>

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		<description><![CDATA[The last time I wrote for Cinnamon Spirit was January 2019. I&#8217;ve been trying to figure out how to sum up the seven and a half years since and I am going to struggle to be concise and thoughtful. Some of it is easy to report. Covid reshaped the world. I started a technology company &#8230; <a href="http://cinnamonspirit.com/2026/07/7-years-later-the-tension-between-ambition-and-gratitude/" class="more-link">Continue reading <span class="screen-reader-text">7 Years later &#8230; the tension between ambition and gratitude</span> <span class="meta-nav">&#8594;</span></a>]]></description>
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					</div><p class="font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal" dir="ltr">The last time I wrote for Cinnamon Spirit was January 2019. I&#8217;ve been trying to figure out how to sum up the seven and a half years since and I am going to struggle to be concise and thoughtful.</p>
<p class="font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal" dir="ltr">Some of it is easy to report. Covid reshaped the world. I started a technology company called Serendip and we built a couple of products. I joined the board of Grace Girls Home, an orphanage in Trinco. More and more people are celebrating the beauty of dark skin, which I love to see. And all of us got quietly pulled into the anxious churn of social media, unpredictable global economics, wars and pointless busywork.</p>
<p class="font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal" dir="ltr">Some of it isn&#8217;t easy to report at all. My mother&#8217;s dementia progressed to where she no longer recognizes any of us. I can&#8217;t pretend the impact of that has slowly ground me down like the constant sound of dripping water in a torture chamber.</p>
<p class="font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal" dir="ltr">The one gift buried inside that has helped me cope has been the flexible schedule that allows me to show up, more than I ever had before, for her, for my husband and kids and in-laws,  for my siblings,  my friends from around the world and my local community.</p>
<p class="font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal" dir="ltr">I got the time with Mom and Mom got a version of me she can&#8217;t quite place.</p>
<p class="font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal" dir="ltr">And then there&#8217;s the thing I&#8217;m still working out. Somewhere in these years an abundance mindset unleashed me, and I mean that in both directions. It&#8217;s the engine behind the company and the board seat and the showing up. It&#8217;s also why I can&#8217;t seem to sit still long enough to feel content.</p>
<p class="font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal" dir="ltr">I&#8217;m worried about not doing enough. Not making a few dreams the reality and yet, I consume more content in the form of podcasts, reels, shows and movies than I have ever done before. How do I balance things out?  We help clients build new digital experiences every single day, and I still feel a lack when it comes to making something of my own. Maybe it&#8217;s AI, and how much I lean on it to sharpen my thinking. Could it be cramping my style?</p>
<p class="font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal" dir="ltr">So why re-up Cinnamon Spirit? I was listening to the ten-year anniversary episode of Scott Galloway&#8217;s <a class="underline underline underline-offset-2 decoration-1 decoration-current/40 hover:decoration-current focus:decoration-current" href="https://www.profgalloway.com/">No Mercy / No Malice</a>, and he nudged me back toward the written word. Here I am, taking the nudge.</p>
<p class="font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal" dir="ltr">Today, this is what I sit with. I am grateful for this life, for our health, my family, the wealth, the access to knowledge. All of it is real and I don&#8217;t take it lightly. And yet the gratitude and the restlessness live side by side, and most days I can&#8217;t tell if they&#8217;re fighting or helping each other. Maybe that&#8217;s what I&#8217;ll write about first.</p>
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